coexistapart's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- you don't have to be cool for them to put up with you Not too much to report really, I've had a cold both yesterday and today. I felt the beginnings of it coming on last week, but managed to stave it off until I spent 6-7 hours cooking on Saturday. I was fine at the Super Bowl party on Sunday, but Monday I woke up after having slept for 9 hours as if I'd barely slept at all. Then, last night, I could barely keep my eyes open until 9pm (having read for a while) and then slept 12 hours. I've been nibbling on a little soup and bread here and there, but mostly just cup after cup of orange ginger spice tea with honey. I need to list some new things on eBay this afternoon, but I just can't seem to focus right now. I've set up my laptop on one of those tables you use to feed people in bed, except on the floor in the guest bedroom so I'm seated near the sunny window, but I just can't seem to focus; I really do hate the part about thinking how you need to list things because you know, unless it's a high value item, that it will be boring and dull. I have some other projects I should work on instead, but I can't really get excited about too much because I don't have a ton of energy. I've been sleeping well, but having very complicated and involved dreams. I think I even had a nightmare a few nights ago. I'm glad that January is over. Melinda put it well by saying that January is usually such a useless month, there's no point in expecting much of anything. But January was a good month to me, and February is--for some unconscious reason, maybe because it's short?--probably my favourite month of the year for no good reason. 2009 has not been bad to me in any way, it's just the waiting game for now. I booked Big's ticket for the wedding in March. Somehow he finally got into his head that it was not appropriate that I go. He was taking it really personally at first, oh probably six months ago? But really, short of pulling out Emily Post's Guide to Etiquette, he didn't seem to believe me that my point was simply that it's a very, very small wedding. Big felt bad enough pressuring his son into inviting his mother's siblings (so great aunts & uncles) and you're going to bring just anyone? If I was the bride I'd throw a fit if my new FIL brought his (new) gf because it's just rude and distracting. As it is, the bride has not met her fiancees aunts & uncles or grandmother, so there's already a ton of people she needs to meet and become acquainted with in the 3-4 days leading up to the wedding. It's all fine and dandy to say that this side of his family knows me well and likes me a lot, but I'm just looking out to not be rude...and avoid awkward situations. When I first tried to explain that, it turned into this whole "well what do you mean you don't want to come to the wedding?" but when I finally pushed the fact it would be rude and take away from Barb's day, he finally seemed to get it. The only bad thing to possibly come out of this is that it will make a bigger "show" of me meeting them later, but I'm not really worried; Christmas 2009 is so far off. I kind of have it in my mind that Anthony & I, and Big & Anthony's girlfriend could go to Germany as something festive but not too depressing, but then again I also know that if Big's mom is still alive, and Big's got two young grandchildren, and heaven forbid I'm in Israel, he's going to be pulled every which way, so there's no sense in predicting THAT so far out. Also, and this maybe goes without saying but I doubt Big would ever have realized/acknowledged it, is that *I* get to keep my dignity by not dealing with his children when I'm not so happy with myself right now. Since having finsihed my applications, I feel happier and more confident; but that's not to say I'll have any acceptances or any better idea of what I'm doing by March 27. "Hi, I'm your dad's girlfriend. I graduated from college last summer, but-um-I don't work and don't have a job and don't have any real plans from the future. Um, no, having a baby is not one of them because I don't have any friends--except maybe one, pseudo-uber Christian--who would think it appropriate to have children before you're 30." And that's another weird thing. Once and a while I will flip over to Tiffany's myspace page to see what's going on, stunt the blow if there's any news to come that they're holding back. (Did I mention she has a tatoo of 'serondipity' [SIC] on her wrist? I'm glad I have some warning or I just might blanche.) She also doesn't have a half-bad taste in music, but it's just SO bizarre to me that she and all her friends have babies. And they're my generation, my age...or younger! 23. As if getting married and then pregnant, and staying home until your 40 is a life plan. Although, to be fair, I have been thinking of foster children of late. Not in the sense that I would be personally fulfilled, but in the sense that the Ad Council has a very compelling ad on the Texas radio station that plays Delilah at night. It's a much longer version of the Put Up With You The whole series of commercials, many of which are on YouTube My thing with children has always been that I never have had any interest in having my own. I do not need to conceive and grow a baby to be fulfilled; in fact I'm not sure that I'm ready to give up most of my life for a child that turns around and hates me during their teen years. I remember being very pro-adoption (especially baby girls from China) when I was very little, long before I met any Chinese babies or it became the celebrity trend that it is today. But there is something to be said for adopting children, teens, foster children, what have you, that know that they want and need love. I certainly do like taking care of people, and it has been pointed out to me that being a parent is the perfect medium in which to do so, but I think that while foster children might be more prone to problems, there is something to be said for taking care of someone who truly needs it. And, with that, I should actually get some work done today. 1:56 p.m. - 2009-02-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||