coexistapart's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- pate en croute, brioche, macaron, palmier, cafe au lait, compte, saucisse, pain chocolat, orangina, petits fours, baba au rhum, croque madam et moules frites Yesterday I did see things, but it only felt moderately successful relative to the past couple of days. I have a great way of setting high standards and then disappointing myself. I also feel like I'm starting to get fat; it's a disconcerting feeling. I was fine eating Tuesday, which was my travel day, and then Wednesday in London; Thursday when I got to Paris I had a nice lunch and then a sandwich for dinner, ditto Friday--because as much as I wanted to I couldn't bring myself to eat a second large meal because I just wan't hungry. Yesterday I bought many, many pastries; in N.A. where everyone eats crappy carbs all of the time, these would not have been so filling, but with real butter (mmmm) I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I still feel full today. I know I've been walking and still, somewhat, eating in moderation, but I'm just at that irritating point where even a tiny, tiny workout at the gym would make such a difference. I've come such a long way in the last 4-5 years with regards to body image. My sides could always be smoother, my arms tighter, and my calves smaller, but really, at the moment, the only thing I'm working on is my thighs going somewhat crazy last winter (goal) and keeping my hips in check (daily basis). I know that's confusing, but essentially if I don't go to the gym, and I literally eat what I want, I start to puddle on the sides; it looks more feminine, and my pants still fit, but it doesn't feel right and I don't like how it makes my shirts ride up. I have a skirt with me that I could wear, but it's an 8 so it would just make me feel fatter than I am; frankly the issue at hand is that I did not have gym access Oct 3-5, October 14-24, November 7-11, and now November 18-26. Of course I'm going to feel like a puddle: even if I went every other day during the time I did have access, that's less than 12 times in almost two months! It's not pure guilt (I never let my eating completely out of hand anymore, it's totally relative, just more of an annoyance, "hmm...I definitely wouldn't mind going the gym right now." That being said yesterday was weird. My eyes popped open at 5am; I had a shower, dried my hair, and was out the door by 9am. I bought a brioche and pain chocolat on the way to Notre Dame. I got somewhat waylaid stopping to photograph place de Vendome and the church St-Germain l'Auxerrois. I swear that with the exception of La Chapelle yesterday, the vast majority of the little churches I go to are for more impressive than the big ticket ones around the city. I found an excellent price on postcards outside the 18th century apartments on the part of rue du Rivoli outside the Louvre and a beautiful statue of Jeanne d’Arc outside la place des Pyramides. I crossed on the Pont Neuf and walked up from the backside of l'Ile de la Cite. The wait to go up into Notre Dam was not long at all (10 minutes per 20 people) so in this instance I'm not sure it would have been worth it to come early and spend an hour in line waiting for the kiosk to open; as it was I think I only waited 35 minutes max. It was cold out, and I didn't get that cold waiting. Regardless, the view was absolutely spectacular. The weather the last few days has been mixed. It was cloudy and grey on Thursday, when I arrived, but generally neutral compared with Friday which was positively dark, ominous, and storming. Yesterday it hailed a little in the morning, but cleared up literally once I reach the top of Notre Dame. There was beautiful unobstructed views across the city; I was very blessed to have both my regular and zoom lenses, although I'm still having problems with what I now think are microscopic scratches that become self evident with slower speed settings. You can go up to two levels in Notre Dam, the main vantage point below the bell towers (where you would access the bell towers), on level with the peak of the knave, or way up to the top of the bell towers. Both afford beautiful, unobstructed views of the city out in all directions, up towards Sacre Coeur on the hill, the Eiffel Tower. These people are smart in not allowing highrise development really anywhere off but in one direction. I stopped and had a nice cafe, but yesterday felt more rushed and I'm not sure I was really enjoying myself as much. I went to la Conciergerie (after "concierge" or keeper) site of the old palais prison, where Marie Antoinette was held for 76 days before her death. Little of the original building remains except for the dome halls underground where the guards would have kept office during various shifts, however they do manage to recreate the different kinds of cells: for the poor, for the wealthy, and for the famous. It's nice and short, and to the point. I know this is not a popular sentiment, but while I've been doing all of these historical sites referencing the French Revolution, U’ve really ended up feeling bad and high empathetic towards Marie Antoinette. Maybe it's too much of that Antonia Fraser book, and maybe it's not fair because I haven't exactly been reading up on the starvation suffered by the vast majority of French peasants during that time either, but you do grow up in Canada with a tremendous sense of the British monarchy. And while it's unpopular at home, in Canada it just factors into our daily lives and I don't have a problem with it. So I tend to think of monarchies as these nice, benevolent, things that represent the wealth of a nation and a people. Maybe it's unfair to elevate one family to such high proportions, but then again I feel like we're going back in that direction with the American superwealthy and McMansion owners today; maybe they earned their wealth, but did they really work that much harder than a Moroccan with five children who needs 'more' to be wealthy? I know a lot of people will perceive my opinions to be skewed--from the elite, for the elite--but you go and see the room they've recreated that Marie Antoinette lived in and you think wow, that was unnecessary; a lot less could have been done to cause the same humiliation. I mean did she really have to fall so far? I mean it's not like anyone was looking out to prevent her from making these egregious errors in poor judgement either. Regardless, went to the Conciergerie. Then I went to St. Chapelle which is this church that was built to house what were supposedly relics of Christ (the thistle crown, parts of the shroud). There is a small chapel below the main church that mimics in bright paintings the tremendous stained glass windows that are up above; the main part of the church was reserved for royalty. It features impressively small columns between each window, some depicting entire books of the Bible. I was in awe; it didn't feel real it was so fantastic. Then past the fountaine des innocents and I had lunch at a cafe I noticed yesterday near Georges Pompidou; I wasn't planning on staying as long as I did, but the wind had picked up and it was insanely freezing yesterday. Essentially, starting to feel like the end of November! I had a croquet madame (toasted gruyere with ham, a soft fried egg) with lots of mustard; barely-cooked chocolate cake with creme anglaise and a regular coffee. I walked around towards the Bastille trying to feel like I had a direction and wasn't tired and freezing; stopped to buy a palmier and a large financier noisette. I walked into various shops to get warm, tried to want to get another coffee to stay inside, but just ended up coming back to the hotel room once I had walked past the Bastille. I did buy a lovely slice of pate en croute that is sitting outside, on my window ledge (to stay cold) from a nice, rude woman. I came back and tried to watch a movie only to fall asleep from 4:30 – 11pm. I got to up and walked down to the Moulin Rouge. It was a Saturday night so all kinds of brasseries were open and serving food, but it was just so much louder and busy compared to the quiet solitude I prefer, so I just got a wheel of camembert and came home to eat it with my leftover cake, some Fanta, and pate because you can't buy bread from a convenience store in France Aww, bliss! 10:27 p.m. - 2008-11-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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