coexistapart's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- change of plans again, but finally--excitement! It's been a good week. When I was at Starbuck's earlier, I was actually wondering how to quantify the week; however, I figured if I "don't know" than that, ultimately, things weren't bad so that means they were GOOD. I'm blessed and grateful for it. This entry might appear scattered as I have a lot of things to cover before I go on over to post on my public blog. I discovered this week that my cousin Susie has been reading my blog; this was not a surprise given that I had the link posted on fb precisely for those late-night, profile perusals where you end up flipping through the photos of your ex-camp friend's 1L formal--that sort of thing you shouldn't be doing after midnight because it makes you feel horrible and insufficient. So I was corresponding with Susie about some photos of her children that I will be sending to her; she is JABU's only daughter, an architect who quit her very lucrative firm to stay home and make organic soaps. (I relayed this a while ago--my uncle's 65th I think--how well THAT went over with the family...) None-the-less, she did the very correct thing of saying "hey, I've been reading your blog...it's been interesting; I don't think I'll pass the address on to JABU because I think they would be..."a bit surprised." It was nice that she asked; it gave me pause for thought, and I went back to look to see what was so damaging. I've been very careful about that sort of thing; what's the point of me still having this locked blog if I'm airing all my dirty laundry on blogspot? I mean I do know that many people have become way, WAY too honest on the internet in recent years, but still I though I was doing ok by making sure I come here first and get everything else, before going back to redact the essentials. The only thing I came across was one entry that I wrote the day I had to have a flat tire changed about two weeks ago; it was a self-actuating look-how-busy-my-day-was kind of entry that DOES belong over here. However, I did also come to the conclusion that she was probably refering to the a)John McCain rally, and subsequent increasingly centrist political feelings, b) the existence of Big, and/or c) Big's age based on the pic posted of us from the rally. She was probably most "concerned" with the first item, which I know for a fact my aunt IS aware of. We had this whole Hillary-Obama-McCain going up between me, her, and Anthony. When I spoke to Anthony at the end of the summer, and he told me all about his situation with his non-gf and how he's after this super cute (and young) girl at work once he's able to move on and move out, he said to me something along the lines of--why don't you tell JABU about Big? What's the big deal? (no pun intended) And at this point it really is that for a long time it seemed like an issue, and I missed the opportunity so many times that I know now that I have to make the effort to do so, inform them of that particular aspect of my life when they are up-to-speed on so many other things that Susie would not be. It's not an "issue" per se; I just need to mention it in a card over Christmas, and everything will be fine. But even if I wasn't already thinking that I need to finishing "coming clean" in so many areas of my life, that's now also on the table. Other than that--and it wasn't even a bump, really--the week has been good. Not overly busy, but productive. Then again we only got back from Denver late Tuesday, so the week was over quickly. I feel bad because I had such a nice time (just like I thought I would) while Big was moderately exhausted by the weekend. Friday we tried to leave early, but got somewhat waylaid by a couple of issues. Saturday morning we over-slept (we got in at 3am) and then Big dropped me off at this nice mall, Flat Irons Crossing in Westminster while he went off to meet an old army buddy who is thinking of getting divorced. (They also coordinated further plans for when the USA comes to an end due to Obama-related war/nuclear events. No joke.) I had a nice time by myself; the mall was completely empty, highlighting for me for once just how bad the economy is. I've said this before, but we live in a bubble; gas is down over the last couple of months, and the defense industry isn't going anywhere fast, not to mention my financial assets, and the fact that we don't own a home, so our happiness is not going anywhere fast. The mall was totally empty though; less than 500 people, with most people in the food court and no one buying ANYTHING. I walked into American Eagle and there were 7 clerks, and one customer--other than me. I wasn't really looking to buy anything; all of the stores have proper winter clothing now, whereas down here it's still sunny and warm most days, but I got a good sense of what the stores are doing in the lead up to holiday sales--a lot of Prada knockoffs, the Swiss lace a-line skirts and high neck shirts from the spring. I went to Starbuck's and had a peppermint mocha. They've jazzed up the holiday drinks a little bit, to make them different, but as someone pointed out, the red holiday cups DO kind of make you happy for the winter holidays. I bought a really cute charcoal silk dress at J.Crew that I thought was $29 (reduced from $149) but was actually a further 50% reduced at the cash. Again, all of these sales are to try and get people to part with money they really don't have right now. Oh, and Godiva chocolates--the praline clamshell. The rest of Saturday we spent at Big's mom's with his sister and brother-in-law going through the MIL's basement, unpacking Christmas decorations for her to decide what color scheme to use this year. It's not worth getting into now, but Big's family does Christmas in a way that I'm not sure I would agree/believe in even if I didn't dislike Christmas so much because of my father's death. I'm not saying we should be radical, and stick to a three-wise-men-only-brought-three-gifts type of mantra, but they do Christmas to an extreme, at least in my mind. It doesn't help that Big's sister worked at a Christmas specialty store for almost 10 years--nothing like taking advantage of your 50% off store merchandise--but we were going through what was easily thousands of dollars worth of decorative santas, garlands, fake flowers, sugared fruits, and glass balls. She has enough decorations to do a white, silver, blue, burgundy, sage, pink, or purple themed Christmas, complete with trees and home decor...AT LEAST! I didn't mind helping out...just unpacking boxes for her to decide what to do with them--she has become somewhat incapacitated by her knee surgery last winter--but I am glad that I did not know, going in that this was going to happen, or else I might have been more upset because I knew it would make me sad. Sunday morning I went with Big's sister to a craft show. That was very nice--I think I already mentioned this--because it was a really crafty craft show. Not $49 hand-blown crystal ornaments and $2000 oil paintings, but jams, crocheted afghans (yay!), dolls, fabric crafts, pot porri, and that sort of thing. I lucked out buying a beautiful magazine holder made out of older, grey(ed) wood that had a metal plate with a gorgeous farm field painting along the side. Perfect for JABU for Christmas. I also bought some roasted nuts from a WWII vet that signed a book he wrote and self-published (my SIL got that for Big) and a beautiful little tree ornament from a couple who summers on Lake Michigan and collects driftwood to make Santa Claus ornaments. Each face is different, and every year they do a different issue of a theme--with a star, or mistletoe, or fruit on his hat. Just beautiful and so unique. I was a little short on cash--thinking that it was a high end craft show (which I normally get stuck going to) I thought more people would have visa/mastercard, but it worked out fine. The only thing I would have liked that I didn't have the money for was these 6-7 wood pieces that you insert into a pumpkin to convert it into a turkey. I've done a little bit of preliminary searching on the internet, but it looks like I may have to have Deb buy it for me next year. We did some other errands for Big's mother, and then went to her daughter's house for chile and games Sunday night. Monday we went out to breakfast with his mother and sister; Big was in a foul mood (they didn't have ham at Village Inn, and that kind of thing drives him crazy--people not doing their "job") so we left him at home while went to check out the Linens & Things liquidation sales and some hobby stores. There was a confusing moment where I wasn't sure what to think because Deb is always commenting on how nice I dress, and then the hobby store was next to a Christopher & Banks (old lady store) and she kept saying, "it's ok if you want to go in, I don't mind, we have time," confusing me with Big's ex-wife who LOVES Christopher & Banks, with whom Deb was also quite close. Shrugs. We spent most of Tuesday driving back. Wednesday I shipped out a bunch of eBay items, focused on going back to the gym and doing some cooking for this week. Yesterday Big was home from work because the army was re-issuing offices I believe, so no one had a desk where they could do work. He spent the day cleaning, while I shipped more items and worked on this stack of 30-40 shoes that we cleaned out of his mother's closet, for me to sell on eBay. Most if the shoes are new and never worn, but I was thinking I could only sell them for $9.99 because they are "old lady," but a bunch are never worn Stanley Philipson which I now gather is old enough to be important vintage. Let's just see if I can actually get the 3-4x that they are supposedly worth. Because Big did not have to get up early yesterday, we slept in until 9 or 10am which pushed our whole day back. Consequently after I got done on the computer around 9pm, Big and I started watching this TV series "Jericho" that he had bought on DVD at Costco--about the USA being nuked and this small town trying to survive. (Timely, no?) I worked on crocheting Juanita's baby blanket until 1 or 2am, and then I went to bed thinking that Big was right behind me, but then when I woke up at 10:30am he was still going strong and almost to the end of Season 2! Crazy. Of course this morning I went to the gym, and then came back to find him asleep on the couch, so I went out and got a burrito and went to read my magazine at Starbuck's. It's a beautiful New Mexico Saturday. It's "cold" this weekend (55F/13C) but if you're from the North-East you can easily sit outside in the sunshine; I had on a 3/4-length cashmere sweater a knee-length skirt and was rarely chilly. I don't know what the rest of the day is going to look like because Big is having a hard time getting up. I imagine he wants to continue to clean and maybe we will go to the movies later; I still need to go to Barnes & Noble to get the new Taylor Swift CD for the plane Tuesday. I'm mildly nervous (again), but I do plan on going to the church across the street tomorrow; we were away in Denver last weekend, so I got a note in the mail from the pastor asking me if the service was meaningful for me. He seems like such a very nice man; he had wonderful scripty writing just like my aunt. He also included a giftcard to Starbuck's which I don't particularly like because I don't approve of that kind of thing; I guess it's just a different/American/new-age Presbyterian way of trying to recruit members, but I'm not sure that I like it. Again, I consider myself old school: you either like a church or you don't. I think I will return it tomorrow in an offering envelope and just explain, like I told him, that I'm away a lot, but that I do enjoy his congregation...so far at least. This week I leave for London on Tuesday. I mentioned two post ago how the whole London thing was being converted into this whole Scotland thing, and I was pretty certain that even though it was feasible, I did not want to go to Scotland. That was obviously a huge factor in why I transfered the money to my accounts: I was feeling pretty stubborn about NOT wanting to go to Scotland, but I was getting kind of trapped by the limitations of money. I also got another email from Kimberley saying that I wouldn't have anywhere to stay in London if she wasn't there. Huh? It's $250 to fly or take the train to Paris, and there you can get a hotel or hostel room for $50 per night by yourself, whereas you can barely pay that for a bed in a 8-person dorm in London. It's nuts. And I know to a lot of people doing all of THAT seems more convolutated (just stay in London, it'll all come out in the wash...) but every since I have been "liberated" to do my own thing sinc my father died, and left me money, and I left my mother's home, I absolutely abhor being pressured into anything I just don't agree with. So I'm going to Paris on Thursday. Details are a little hazy because I'm waiting for one last "protest" email from Kimberley, no doubt. The economy means that there's lots of rooms and spots on planes and trains, so I'm not worried. She's going to be gone so long that I will have Thursday-Friday-Saturday-Sunday-Monday morning in Paris, and then another day and a half in London. I'm not really a London person, as much as I was willing to give it another chance (Big LOVES London). I speak French, I can sit and drink cafe au laits all day long, and eat roasted chesnuts by the Seine, take photos, I'll be fine. The other things going on this week is I'm reading a great book by Alexandra Robbins on overachieving high school kids. There is just so much I identify with, empathize, sympathize, I mean words cannot describe how good it is to be reading all of this and understand where it puts me NOW, as a result of what I did THEN. I have lots of notes, so there'll be a separate entry for that later this week. I was also reading in the June issue of Texas Monthly that Texas has more professional hockey teams than any other state (or province!) in all of North America! Very weird. And how people wonder why Bush II was sucessful at co-opting the Texas streotype for himself, when he's ostensibly from a elite, patrician family from the Eastern Seaboard. And they talk about how that image changed when so many suburbanites migrated to Houston & DFW, meaning that they appropriate the same pseudo-cowboy (only), Texas-transplant image for themselves. I'm feeling pretty on top of things today. I just need to quit the computer for now as there is less than 2 hours of sunshine left. le sigh. 3:13 p.m. - 2008-11-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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